If you’ve recently experienced a marriage break up you might be wondering how your ex-partner who claimed to love you and with whom you shared so many happy times, could cut you off so coldly and moved on to pastures new without even casting you a second glance.
The memories of your life together are still probably dominating your every thought and as a result you are struggling to get over your heartbreak and feel unable to move on. At times it even feels like the sadness will never stop.
In this article, I will show you 5 tips to help you to cope with the break up of your marriage.
1) Disconnect yourself physically and emotionally
“Out of sight out of mind”
Although right now you might be aching to speak to your partner (if no children are involved) you must go “cold turkey”. This might sound brutal, but you need to drastically reduce or even cut altogether any contacts with your ex.
The pursuing and begging MUST stop. Do not phone, text, email or leave emotional voicemails to your ex-spouse.
Latching on someone who no longer wants you will only make them ran away faster and the ensuing rejection will make you feel even worse. You need to muster all your strength and pull back. Try and clear your partner’s memories from your house, and avoid going to places you used to go to as a couple.
2) Take good care of yourself
When you are engulfed in grief, your immune system can weaken, leaving you more prone to illnesses. This is a time when it is more important than ever that you look after yourself properly to maintain your physical and mental well-being.
Make sure that you keep yourself in good physical shape. This could mean going to a gym or simply doing some power walking. Apart from the evident physical benefits, exercise will also boost your mood. According to experts physical activity releases endorphins “feel good hormones”; that can make you feel happier and more confident.
You can combat anxiety and stress by getting enough sleep, eating right, and exercising. When you feel good physically, you will also feel better emotionally
3) “Fake it till you make it”
Although you might be feeling at “rock bottom”, act as if you are moving on with your life. Try to be positive, strong and confident. Looking and acting the part is half the battle! Projecting a positive image has a very powerful effect on your psyche: it not only helps you to think more positively about yourself but also alleviate your negative thoughts. In time, you will gradually feel more confident and self-assured.
4) Focus on yourself not on your ex
Concentrate on all the areas of your life that are not in turmoil. The break up of your relationship is a new beginning, so focus solely on your good points and assets.
Write down a list of short and long term goals, this could be your dream job, an exotic vacation or a house; then work out all the steps it will take to achieve them and tick them off as you reach them! This task alone will lift up your spirits and keep you motivated for the future.
Broaden your social circle and get busy with new activities that you’ve always wanted to try in the past. Remember you are now solely in charge of ensuring you own happiness!
This is the ultimate stage, but a crucial one in your journey to recovery. Forgiveness helps us to move on and free us of the last shackles of guilt, pain, and the overwhelming sense of failure that many of us carry around after a break up. Learning to forgive is a great gift to give to yourself. Without any emotional burden weighting your shoulders down, you will be eager and happy to embrace your new future.
Coping with the break up of a marriage is a long process. The key here is to keep moving forward everyday by working on improving yourself. Gradually your self esteem and confidence will come back, and this will open the door for great things to come into your life!