Learn How To Fix An Unhappy Marriage!

Posted on January 21, 2012 by

Hopefully you’ve arrived here looking for just a bit of advice on how to fix an unhappy marriage. As you probably already know, if you have been married for any length of time, you will no doubt understand that marriage is one of the hardest things in the world to sustain. Let’s be honest, if you want to know how to fix an unhappy marriage one of the first things you are going to have to realize is that it’s going to take…WORK!

We all know that sometimes being married can literally feel like having a millstone around your neck. And I’m betting many of you who are reading this are probably knodding your head. It’s no secret that however well you get on with your partner there will always be difficulties. At times it might be relationship issues but often the source of the problem is external.

However, it does not matter where the source of the problem originates: there are two basic principles that you should have firmly in place if you want to know how to fix an unhappy marriage.

Be the right person

Many people are looking for ‘Mr or Mrs Right’ when settling down. But this person simply doesn’t exist. You know it, I know it so quit trying to find something the proverbial needle in a haystack! To find the ‘right person’ you have to be prepared. You can only ‘see’ the right person if you are in the right place in your life. Remember “luck is simply where preparation meets opportunity”. So be prepared. Make yourself the best man or woman you can be. Don’t look for someone else to ‘complete you’. As Jerry McGuire said: “That’s Hollywood claptrap, don’t fall into that sap!

Understand the nature of the opposite gender

Nowadays, we too often make the mistake to believe that we can all be ‘equal’ and ‘unisex’. Hogwash! Men and women are intrinsically different, by a mile. Their attraction wants and likes in a relationship, dreams, goals, sources of self-worth and achievements are entirely different. Denying these facts is a recipe for disaster. But maybe that’s why you are hear. Maybe you have an impending disaster and you don’t the world crumbling around your head. If that is the case, stay tuned right here and we’ll be giving you some of the best tips we know on how to fix an unhappy marriage. But we’ll be flat out honest with you, most of it is going to be common sense that for whatever reason you’ve just plain forgotten!

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5 Useful Tips for Second Marriages Success

Posted on June 17, 2011 by

Statistics show that 50% of all marriages in the US end in divorce. But second marriages are especially vulnerable.  In this article I will be discussing the main reason why second marriages are more likely to fail and show you 5 useful tips which will help you to make a success of your second marriage.

There is one main reason why second marriages are more likely to fail:   After going through a divorce many people search for a new partner, often someone entirely different from the first spouse.  Things run smoothly until the end of the honeymoon period — then they realize they have taken all their old issues, habits and problems into their new marriage. Entering into a second marriage without understanding why the first one failed is like building a second wall without finding out why the first one collapsed.

Rather than concentrating on precisely what went wrong in their previous marriage, many people find it easier to put all the blame on their ex-spouse.  As a result, they strongly believe that the secret to wedded bliss is to simply choose the right partner. Unfortunately, without taking the time to assess why the marriage went wrong in the first place and analyzing the part you played in its demise, things are unlikely to be better second time around.

I will now guide you through 5 easy steps that will get you better prepared for your second marriage.

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5 Tips for Coping with a Break Up of Marriage

Posted on June 16, 2011 by

If you’ve recently experienced a marriage break up you might be wondering how your ex-partner who claimed to love you and with whom you shared so many happy times, could cut you off so coldly and moved on to pastures new without even casting you a second glance.

The memories of your life together are still probably dominating your every thought and as a result you are struggling to get over your heartbreak and feel unable to move on.  At times it even feels like the sadness will never stop.

In this article, I will show you 5 tips to help you to cope with the break up of your marriage.

1) Disconnect yourself physically and emotionally

“Out of sight out of mind”

Although right now you might be aching to speak to your partner (if no children are involved) you must go “cold turkey”.  This might sound brutal, but you need to drastically reduce or even cut altogether any contacts with your ex.

The pursuing and begging MUST stop.  Do not phone, text, email or leave emotional voicemails to your ex-spouse.

Latching on someone who no longer wants you will only make them ran away faster and the ensuing rejection will make you feel even worse.  You need to muster all your strength and pull back.  Try and clear your partner’s memories from your house, and avoid going to places you used to go to as a couple.

2) Take good care of yourself

When you are engulfed in grief, your immune system can weaken, leaving you more prone to illnesses.  This is a time when it is more important than ever that you look after yourself properly to maintain your physical and mental well-being.

Make sure that you keep yourself in good physical shape.   This could mean going to a gym or simply doing some power walking.   Apart from the evident physical benefits, exercise will also boost your mood.   According to experts physical activity releases endorphins “feel good hormones”; that can make you feel happier and more confident.

You can combat anxiety and stress by getting enough sleep, eating right, and exercising. When you feel good physically, you will also feel better emotionally

3) “Fake it till you make it”

Although you might be feeling at “rock bottom”, act as if you are moving on with your life.  Try to be positive, strong and confident. Looking and acting the part is half the battle!   Projecting a positive image has a very powerful effect on your psyche: it not only helps you to think more positively about yourself but also alleviate your negative thoughts.   In time, you will gradually feel more confident and self-assured.

4)  Focus on yourself not on your ex

Concentrate on all the areas of your life that are not in turmoil.  The break up of your relationship is a new beginning, so focus solely on your good points and assets.

Write down a list of short and long term goals, this could be your dream job, an exotic vacation or a house; then work out all the steps it will take to achieve them and tick them off as you reach them!   This task alone will lift up your spirits and keep you motivated for the future.

Broaden your social circle and get busy with new activities that you’ve always wanted to try in the past.  Remember you are now solely in charge of ensuring you own happiness!

5) Forgiveness

This is the ultimate stage, but a crucial one in your journey to recovery.  Forgiveness helps us to move on and free us of the last shackles of guilt, pain, and the overwhelming sense of failure that many of us carry around after a break up.  Learning to forgive is a great gift to give to yourself.   Without any emotional burden weighting your shoulders down, you will be eager and happy to embrace your new future.

Conclusion:

Coping with the break up of a marriage is a long process. The key here is to keep moving forward everyday by working on improving yourself.   Gradually your self esteem and confidence will come back, and this will open the door for great things to come into your life!

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5 top Tips to a Happy Marriage

Posted on June 15, 2011 by

With 50 per cent of marriages currently ending in divorce in the US, it is now more important than ever to identify and understand what are the crucial components to a happy marriage.  In this article, I will be discussing about the 5 top ingredients that every couple need to work on to keep their marriage strong.

1. Good communication

You must have an open communication. This is the most important part of your marriage because keeping secrets from each other will breed mistrust. Communication includes sharing of your thoughts, your fears, your desires and your plans for your future together. Knowing that you are able to tell each other everything creates a bond that makes your relationship stronger.

2. Make sure you find time to be together.

This may seem like an impossible task to contemplate when you are already stretched to the limit and are struggling to split your time between work, children and housework; but it is important for your couple well-being that you spend some quality time with your spouse. It doesn’t have to be long, just 30 minutes a day will do for a start.  This is enough time to reconnect with your partner, talk about your day, share a problem or just cuddle together. Being alone together even in this short amount of time will help the intimacy going in your couple.  So even if you think your daily schedule is too tight, make it a priority to set aside some time to spend for you and your partner on a regular basis.

3. You must act as a team

Although you might disagree on many things, you need to remember that you are part of a team and therefore you shouldn’t only be concerned about yourself.  Think about what’s good for the couple rather than what’s good for you.  As a team you need to find ways of deciding things together in order to move forward as a couple.  Although there are times when you might not entirely agree with your partner on a certain topic, you will find that you need to compromise to keep the peace.  Remember it’s not all about you!

4. Don’t get into the habit of criticizing your partner

Negativity breeds more negativity.  If you tend to focus solely on your partner’s negative side and flaws, this in turn will be mirrored in your relationship.  Think about it for a minute: do you really expect someone to think the world of you when all you do is constantly criticizing them?   I think not! Nobody is perfect, but keeping a positive attitude and focusing on your partner’s good traits rather than the bad, will bring positive energy in your relationship and will make any problems much easier to handle.

5. Be loyal to your partner

Infidelity is amongst the top reasons why many couples divorce.  Being committed to your partner means more than not having extra marital affairs.  Emotional cheating is just as bad if not worse.  There are special things that belong only to your couple and that you and your partner should treasure and cherish.  This could be a special place, a song or anything else that is unique to you as a couple and should not be shared with others.  Loyalty also means not revealing intimate details of your relationship to others without your spouse’s consent.  To your partner this will feel like a betrayal and will damaged your relationship.

Conclusion: a marriage is like a beautiful plant. To grow and prosper it needs a good deal of nurturing and caring.  As a couple you need to work hard at keeping connected with your partner emotionally and physically.  This means making time to communicate, connect and show your appreciation for each other and ultimately strengthening the bond that keeps your marriage happy.

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Top 3 Signs of a Bad Marriage That you Should Never Ignore

Posted on June 12, 2011 by

signs of a bad marriage

Marriages are not made in heaven.  They take a lot of hard work and commitment from both spouses to be truly successful.  In this article I will be discussing and pinpointing the 3x signs that can wreck a marriage if not addressed and dealt with properly.

1. Infidelity

Adultery often feels like the ultimate betrayal.  Whatever excuses your partner might come up with to justify his behavior; the truth is that people in healthy marriages do not cheat.  Infidelity is often a warning sign of something extremely wrong between the spouses.

When a third person enters into a relationship, the ensuing lies and deceits wrecks havoc in the marriage; it breaks the trust between the spouses and the aftermaths can be felt long after the affair has ended.

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3 Top Tips To Get Your Marriage Back On Track

Posted on June 11, 2011 by

get_your_marriage_back

All marriages go through their ups and downs. Unfortunately, when the rough periods outweigh the happy times the marriage can quickly become unbearable.  As a result you might end up feeling stuck in your marriage but are paralyzed by fear and anxiety over what to do.  But doing nothing is the worst thing you can do.  You need to take positive action to remedy the problems and get your marriage back on track

In this article I will be discussing 3 key elements which will help you to get your marriage back on the straight and narrow.

1. Improve communication in your marriage.

You need to identify your marriage issues and pinpoint the areas of conflicts.   If it helps, write them all down on a piece of paper first and then go through them with your spouse.  You both need to have a frank and honest discussion about what upsets you in the marriage.

This should be a positive discussion, so don’t start throwing accusations at each other.  Talking with anger and resentment will sabotage your efforts and stifle your progress.

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3 Tips to Get Over Breakup of Your Marriage

Posted on June 10, 2011 by

Get over break up marriageFor whatever reasons they happen, breakups are painful. It’s the end of an important chapter of your life and suddenly you are on your own to face what feels like a cataclysmic situation.  If you are currently going through this, you need to find ways of coping and moving on with your life.

But what does “getting over” a break up actually mean?  Personally, I think that it’s when people finally reach the point where they can allow joy, happiness and particularly hope for the future to get back into their lives.

In this article I will be discussing the main steps which will help you to go through this difficult period.

1) Grieving …

“Time, time and more time…”.

I know it’s a cliché but time is a healer and will definitely make things better.

You must take time plenty of time to go through the healing process.  A relationship break up is an emotional wound where your protective shield has been broken and your emotions bruised.  You are suffering a loss and need time to work through your grief.  The death of your marriage has probably stirred up all type of negative feelings like anger, rejection or failure and you need to take time to repair the emotional scaring.

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3 Top Reasons Why You Are Not Having Sex In Your Marriage

Posted on June 9, 2011 by

Not having sex in marriage

If your partner is not a “closet gay” or your appearance has not drastically changed due to obesity or extensive cosmetic surgery, then you might be wondering why your spouse has lost all interest in having sex.  In this article I will be discussing the main reasons.

Although not the foundation of a marriage, sex is nevertheless one of its key components.  A regular sex life helps to hold a marriage together and satisfies a couple’s need for physical intimacy.

I strongly believe that a marriage without sex is merely a friendship, albeit a close one.  Although there might still be cuddles and hugs, in the absence of sex, partners progressively feel more like roommates or siblings.  In most cases, only one spouse refuses to have sex.  This leaves the other spouse feeling rejected and unfulfilled; and in turn the yearning for physical attention becomes even greater.

1.  An affair

“My partner doesn’t want sex anymore”

As painful as it might be to come to terms with this, if your partner is getting sex elsewhere on a regular basis, he/she will find it more difficult to also have sex with you.  This is very dangerous territory: not only their physically needs are fulfilled by another person, but in many cases an emotional connection can develop out of sex.  The spouse having the affair can easily become entangled both sexually and emotionally.  This in turn will leave unable to connect with you on both fronts.

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What do you consider long-term success in a marriage?

Posted on June 8, 2011 by

Not so long ago a marriage needed to reach at least the 20 years milestone to be considered long and successful.  Times have changed drastically.  With the divorce rate reaching 50%of all marriages in the US, the definition of long term success had to be adjusted accordingly.

Nowadays, many couples who have successfully been married for 10 years consider their marriage a long-term success.  Indeed in that time, they have amassed valuable experience that many people could benefit from.

What do you think?

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3 reasons why you shouldn’t start a relationship with somebody going through divorce

Posted on June 7, 2011 by

Have you ever considered having a relationship with somebody going through a divorce?  Well think again; personally I wouldn’t dream of it.  In this article I will discuss the x3 main problems encountered in this type of situations.

1. Emotionally unavailable

There are 2x aspects to a divorce: the physical and emotional detachment.  Whilst the physical separation is obvious and clear for everyone to see, the emotional one is more intricate.

Divorce is a difficult time and one of the most stressful experience people face in their lifetime.  It is a rollercoaster of emotions: anger, grief and sadness all mingled into one and this often leaves a person in a state of deep confusion.  Someone going through such emotional upheavals and turmoil is neither emotionally stable nor available to start a relationship.

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